Where To From Here?

As I sat here in my tiny office watching the clouds through my window and listening to the sound of my husband cutting the grass my mind began to mull some things over. The picture board next to my desk caught my attention. I began to examine every picture closely. Some made me laugh, many made me smile, while others pricked my heart. I began to truly realize how full my life has been. I am not a wisened matriarch, but my nearing "middle aged" life is so much more than I ever expected it to be. My mental vacation was interrupted by an accute awareness that the clock was tick....tick....ticking It was as if in a small voice the Lord was saying I've given you so much....now what are you going to do with the time you have left. As a Christian and a mother I am sometimes torn between inreach(family) and outreach(others.) I love to spend time nurturing my family, but at the same time I feel a sense of guilt for not selling everything and moving to Zimbabwe to preach the Gospel. After all people died for this message!....right?....then I feel the gentle hand of the Lord and He whispers to my heart, "I gave you this home and this family....enjoy them fully, but use them as tools to reach your world." What do you mean Lord? "You have a large kitchen...use it to feed the hungry while your daughter learns to serve." He also admonished me to spend lots of quality time with my family not only baking bread, but breaking the bread of life. "Use family time to instill my word in her heart so that she can share it with her generation...they desperately need it." then he said again, "I gave them to you... enjoy them, but don't forget to use them wisely." ....silence.....tick...tick.....tick....I whispered, "thank you Jesus."